Before you read this post I want to give proper credit. Angela Duckworth along with countless other great authors, moved me to write this lesson for my friends in Treatment. Her book “Grit” is a must read for any recovering addict.
The definition of Grit: Courage and resolve; strength of character.
In Finland the word is defined as Sisu I believe that the most important key for addicts and grit, is the ”character” reference. I would argue that as an addict we have already proven we have Grit, it has simply been poorly defined. We have already demonstrated courage by being here, resolve by not dying, now we need to focus on character. Lets look at the basic ideas behind grit, sisu. True strength of character, because you are going to need it to stay clean and sober. Here is how Grit Psychologist and author Angela Duckworth describes grit…..
“Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Angela Duckworth’s –Ted Talk-
Take that last quote and rework it, substitute the word recovery for the word Grit.
- Recovery is passion and perseverance for very long term goals.
- Recovery is having stamina.
- Recovery is sticking with your future, day in and day out. Not just for the week but for the month, the year, for years.
- Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.
I maintain before your “grit” can form, before perseverance, and passion can have a chance. A choice must be made. The decision in my opinion is not mingled with the gray area soft talk that sometimes accompanies recovery and 12 step. It is a driven desire and a choice to stay clean, to walk away from the life drugs has created and start a new one, to not try and modify the things of the past, to not try and make your old life fit into the new one, but to actually decide you are moving on and staying clean, not for a day or days, not for a week, but for good. I realize that the phrase “relapse is part of recovery” gets said a lot, but I offer a school of thought that relapse is not required to recover. If you fall or “relapse” grit says you get back up and start fighting again. Recovery is about having grit, grit by the very word implies work, effort in the face of resistance. There will be resistance, you need grit to get through it. Make a Decision!
One of my favorite words I learned in Rehab was Sisu, I first heard this word from a very mild mannered soft spoken councilor. She is a shining example of Sisu. See Grit does not have to take away your compassion, your soft spoken nature, your ability to care or Love. Grit or Sisu runs through you, it is not one thing, it is hundreds of little things, I think it is a perfect way to wrap the lessons we have been given into one defining package. Grit is recovery, it is Courage and resolve, it is strength of character.
The greatest discovery I have made as a middle aged addict in long term recovery is the capacity of the human mind, body, and spirit to grow and overcome. There is so much out there to learn, to create an amazing outlook, and to build a life of thriving fulfillment. I am completely resigned to the idea that staying clean, continuing in long term recovery came down to the choice I made in the second day of withdrawal, that no matter what happened in my life I would never go through that hell again. Not to mention the fact that as an adult I am firmly in love with my right to make my own choices, and when I was in rehab I realized drugs had robbed me of all of my personal choices, I was in fact a prisoner, a slave to the addiction. I flat refuse to be the author of my own destruction!
“Anyone can be tough for a season. It takes a special kind of human to rise to life’s challenges for a lifetime.”
― Chris Matakas
“As a pearl is formed and its layers grow, a rich iridescence begins to glow. The oyster has taken what was at first an irritation and intrusion and uses it to enrich its value. How can you coat or frame the changes in your life to harvest beauty, brilliance, and wisdom?”
― Susan C. Young