Accountable
(Defined) The obligation of an individual or organization to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner.
“When something happens, consider your part in it.”
“You are only as sick as your secrets”
Early in my addiction I recall looking at the world through the lenses of a victim, always feeling like the world that was created around me was always someone else’s fault. This makes life so convenient. I mean if I don’t cause it, why would I look to fix it, or change it? It’s not my fault.
This unhealthy thinking gets you stuck and halts or slows any progress you might make. The danger in this thinking (especially in early recovery) is that you can carry over these unhealthy thoughts, ideas, and misgivings. Then as you try to move forward in your recovery these ideas become dangerous tripping points that can either stop or destroy your progress and cement you into a place where you get stuck.
Keep in mind that understanding, and looking at this in your own life, will lead to better understanding and more compassion for others.
- We cannot get well unless we own our behaviors and our actions. Once we’re in recovery, we must own our choices and our outcomes.
- Critical to our process is knowing and understanding how to clean up our side of the street.
- Misplaced or even defective loyalty to the “old code” become critical to the process.
- As you grow in your recovery and take personal accountability, holding others accountable is vital.
These practices will help you as you look at “your” story. The story process is vital because let me tell you right now, the only way out of this mess, is to walk backwards through your story. As you do this and come to understand any of your own accountability you will also gain understanding on how to give other parties their own accountability. This becomes key to the recovery process as you know, you need to clean up your side of the street, and you cannot clean up the other side.
For me accountability came with a measure of self-discovery, it was vital to my recovery because in the process I found the areas where perhaps I was carrying shame or guilt, when you have not been accountable then the Shame and guilt just become your constant companion and as many of you know, carrying this bag of crap gets heavy, it makes you sad, it makes you want to run, numb yourself and of course use.
Here in lies the rub, you may very well get all the tools you need to overcome your DOC while you are in Rehab or early recovery. If you do not address your very real issues, then a year or two from now when you think you are just a great recovering badass, boom the wheels will come off and you will find yourself staring into a dark place. With that word of caution issued, this accountability practice will become a lifelong endeavor. As much as I love the idea that you are getting clean, and finding your way to learning a sober lifestyle. I am also married to the idea that you deserve to be happy, joyous, and live a life of fulfillment. That comes from understanding that learning the keys to these and the other principles you are taught teach will become the foundation for living in a state of Joy.
So no magic potions get handed out here, this all takes work. I have to constantly remind myself that being accountable is not a default setting, leaning into the uncomfortable emotions that come with it are hard. So it will take practice, it will take effort, so go easy on yourself. You will get better and better at these skills.
Taking accountability for your actions in early recovery will help you start and continue your process in complete honesty and integrity. This will give you the foundation to “weather the storm” believe me when I say there will be storms. Rehab is a perfect example of the social settings that exist in families and groups of friends, it will be easy to find yourself in the middle of quarrels with roommates, house mates, mentors, and counselors. This is good, even great! Embrace the suck! With these quarrels you can hopefully find your way to your part in them. Here is a news flash for everyone, where ever you are, you put yourself there, no one person stand entitled to more than the rest, if you feel like you are, then you need to take a long look at accountability. That is if you are walking a road to recovery and wholehearted living. Plain and simple Life is hard, it is full or hard choices, sacrifices, and challenges. Having our feet grounded in true accountability will make us better to ourselves, as a result we will be better to others.
Accountability separates the wishers in life from the action-takers that care enough about their future to account for their daily actions.
John Di Lemme
There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
Denis Waitley